I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
