walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
