As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
