his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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