it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
