found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
