Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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