Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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