well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
