i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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