I just made out with a guy for $7.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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