so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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