i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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