Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
