dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
