Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
