I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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