guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
