We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
