You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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