He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
