I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
