Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
