What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
