Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
