I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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