dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
