I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
