i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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