Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
