All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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