butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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