You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
