I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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