walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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