It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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