Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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