She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
