Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
