....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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