Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
