That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
