My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
