You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
