Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
