I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
