wrigley field is MILF paradise
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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