pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
