see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Edward fifth and chaser hands
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You are a booty call, not a friend.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
