party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
